I sometimes eat my cats dry food and I honestly dont know how to stop

This is going to sound absolutely unhinged but I need to get it off my chest because I cant tell anyone in my real life without them looking at me like a total freak. Im 28 years old , I have a decent job and a normal social life but I have this weird habit that started when I was like seven. My parents had this orange tabby and one day I just tried a piece of the kibble on a dare from my older brother . I liked the crunch of it. Fast forward twenty years and I still do it sometimes. Its not like I replace my actual meals with cat food or anything like that but every once in a while when im filling up the bowl for my current cat I get this weird urge. I just take one or two pieces and eat them. It has this specific salty earthy taste that I cant find in any human snacks. I know its processed and probably full of stuff that isnt meant for human digestion but the texture is just so satisfyingly crunchy. The worst part is that I actually have a favorite brand now. I tried switching my cat to a cheaper brand once and I hated the taste of it so I went back to the expensive grain free stuff just because it tastes better to me too. I feel like a literal animal when I do it. Sometimes I catch my cat staring at me while I do it and I feel like he knows. Like he is judging me for stealing his dinner. I tried to stop cold turkey a few months ago but then I had a really stressful week at work and found myself standing in the kitchen at 2 am just munching on a handful of seafood medley kibble. I feel disgusting after I do it but in the moment it just feels normal. I keep thinking about what would happen if a guy I was dating ever found out. Like how do you even explain that. Hey sorry I late for our date I was just finishing off the friskies. Its ruining my self esteem and I just want to be a normal person who eats human food only. I dont even know why I like it so much. Its just kibble. Why am i like this.