Failed robbery 🍇 changed my life

So this is going to sound so dumb; bear in mind I was young and I didn't really have a good environment but when I was 17 I hung out with This friend group was super chill and always fun to be around. They were a bit older than me but I always enjoyed going out at night with them. They always gave me free food and drinks; the only problem was that some of them were part of a gang and they offered to bring me in since I'm turning 18 in 3 months. So all I had to do was just rob someone they even gave me an airsoft gun They wouldn't give me a real gun because I could go to jail for a long time if I was caught and if I was, I would just go to juvie. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I was super nervous and I worked at Domino's as a driver so I know there's this old white guy who lives on alone because I deliver to his place a couple times hes like in his 50s and a bit overweight so I thought it would be an easy lick. So I waited 3 days until his delivery call came. Now keep in mind I have never done this before so I'm super nervous im litterly shacking as I walk up the steps. I knock wait a minute he opens the door, and I push in past him and get behind the door. The guy was startled and he's looking at me like I lost my mind. So I grab the airsoft pistol put down the pizza bag and yell “Give me money” .... Girl my voice cracked, I'm sweating and the dude just closes the Door and asks me “Are you serious “ so i step towards him gun in face and repeat the same thing. I don't know how he did it but he rocked my shit to be honest, I felt the first blow and after that I don't know what happened i just remember coming to on the floor on my stomach and I think I pissed myself because my ass is wet and I feel something pressing against my buthole. I sort of feel it push harder and slowly sink in and that's what brought me to feel my surroundings. My pants are still on their just by my thigh and this old man is on top of me calling me a nigger as he's rocking back and forth in my butt He wasn't super aggressive but if anyone has ever done anal you kinda just freeze and try to breathe. Dude, I laid there for like 3 mins before mentally realizing some guy is fucking me. I was just all types of grogy from when he hit me. The most embarrassing part is eventually instead of feeling like a pushing sensation it started to feel good, as I could feel this pressure in my lower stomach and I actually came. 10/10 would not admit to this if it wasn't anonymous but I finished and just lay there for another 7-9 minutes just letting him do his thing. The whole time he's calling me a nigger, black bitches don't matter, if I tell anyone he's going to kill me, etc. And like 12ish minutes he slows down, I can feel his dick twitch and my ass just got wet. Like the insides were warm and wet. Soooo he got done, I pulled up pants I have no idea where the airsoft guy in I just ran out got into my car and went back to work. I spent the entire shift quiet i, I walked around and I could still feel like it was in. I actually never went back and told my friends what happened; it made me realize I wasn't made for the hood. And literally next year joined the army to get away from that life. Looking back on it, I'm glad I got 🍇 because it was such an eye-opener that I did a straight 180 and never looked back in life. Uhh but yeah i got my degree now and pick up SGT pretty soon just looking back on life