I just had my first time, and I cried twice.

27F, 33M. First time to have a boyfriend. Never had sex (penetrative and oral). I promised myself I'll just do it with the one I really love. I was also scared to be intimate with someone because I really don't like how I look. I'm a bit fat, with skin discolorations. He's been my bestfriend for 3 years and we always knew there was something more, but we were both indenial because of the fear of breaking up and not being friends anymore, and all that stuff that keeps friends from being together. Today was the day we just set those fears aside and follow what we really felt. I knew I was going to be wild for my first time, but I was still restraining myself from going all out, because I'm embarrassed with my body. But man, he was so reassuring and kissed the parts of my body I never liked. I cried, being insecure for years. And later on... damn it became WILD. He was gentle at first, but I told him to go SO rough on me and he did. I cried a lot again, but now with overstimulation and almost broke the headboard 😭 We did it everywhere in his home and messed up the place (I didn't expect I'd enjoy it in the kitchen) 😅 I can feel early on that he was still restraining himself because he was afraid I might get hurt, but I told him to let go and do whatever he wanted. I was scared at first that maybe he wasn't into that type of thing, but I'm so happy to be with someone who I don't just love, but who I'm actually sexually compatible with. And the aftercare was amazing. We laughed a lot too. 🥰