I ran an entire 5K with my butt cheeks exposed and I genuinely want to disappear.

I need to get this off my chest because I genuinely cannot stop thinking about it and I’m so embarrased I sign up for 5Ks a few times a year. I’m a 30-year-old mom who loves running. This past week, I broke my own record while I was doing a regular run, and I got so hyped up that I signed up for a 5K just three days before the race. It’s been a rough couple of months, and every time I do a 5K, I get so excited to have something to look forward to and another accomplishment to work toward. I even ordered a cute little race outfit. Unfortunately, it got delayed, so I ran to the store last night to find a backup outfit at the last minute. I ended up buying these flowy, crisscross shorts with built-in shorts underneath. I tried on a size small in the fitting room, and they fit great. Nothing felt tight or uncomfortable, so I figured I was good to go. What I failed to do was actually test them by running. For context, I’m pretty lean and small around my waist, but I have wider hips and thick thighs. Apparently, the built-in shorts were not designed for my proportions. They fit perfectly around my waist but not my butt. The race starts, I begin running, and within the first few seconds, I realize something is VERY wrong. Every time I take a stride, the flowy outer layer moves, and the built-in shorts ride up enough that my actual butt cheeks are hanging out. I’m talking about being genuinely exposed from behind while running in a public race. And there are people running behind me. I literally heard a guy say, “Daaaaang.” I wanted to bury myself alive. I spent the first five minutes in a complete mental battle. I could feel how much was exposed, and I became painfully aware that the people behind me could see everything. I kept trying to pull my shorts down, but as soon as I started running again, the same thing happened. It was a trail race, too, so the steep hills and elevation changes were NOT helping the situation. I seriously considered walking the entire race just to minimize the exposure, but I kept running while fighting the urge to crawl into a hole. I eventually finished fourth in my category, which is something I should be proud of. And I am, to an extent. But I cannot get past the fact that people may have spent the race watching me unknowingly—or, eventually, very knowingly—run with a significant portion of my butt exposed. I’m trying to make peace with the possibility that hundreds of people saw me like that. I know people are probably focused on their own races, and maybe nobody cares as much as I think they do. But the thought of someone recognizing me or remembering me as the woman whose butt was hanging out during the race makes me want to evaporate.