I am tired of being pressured to take the child I wish I put up for adoption more often

Got pregnant young. Wanted to do adoption. Talked out of it and pressured into parenting by family. Parented (not well) until shortly before my child’s 1st birthday, when my parent took custody consensually (mutual). They raised my child until they passed at which time my other parent took custody. I made it abundantly clear that my additional help (beyond a weekend a month) was temporary. I take my child monthly, and my parent continues to nag for a second weekend (it’s been years so you’d think they’d accept reality). I have offered to pay for child care to assist, but that’s not enough for them. I am tired of being pushed. I moved a state away to keep more distance from myself and the situation. I do not have the patience, emotional regulation, or anything else to handle having my special needs child more than I do. I’d rather pay money or child support whatever - I just want my parent to leave me alone about it. FYI my child and I have a good relationship - I am kind to them they’re innocent in this and they don’t cognitively understand the situation and likely won’t ever. If I could go back in time I would’ve told my younger self to listen to my own gut and heart and not my family. My child would’ve had the most stable life with a two family home that was prepared to parent.