I’m ashamed of my kinks because I can’t find porn of them and have never talked about them

I’m 30F. My partner constantly asks me to be vulnerable and there are some things I can’t be vulnerable about because I never met anyone with the same kinks and never found porn of them, so I don’t quite have words to talk about them. All the porn is missing out on the story aspect for me. For example, in real life both of us really don’t want kids. Birth control. Vasectomy. Condoms. Covered. But I really, really, really trust my partner and want to have children with him and be bred by him. I want him to grab me from behind and creampie multiple generations for us to raise together. I’ve never felt so close to a person. I don’t understand why I want to make a tiny version of myself with this person. It is strictly a fantasy - I don’t actually want the responsibility of children. Confession part 2. I’m poly, and have been with my current partner for 12 years. Lots of ups and downs. He is my home, he is my rock, but it’s turned into a sexless relationship (that I’m happy with, he’s still my best friend), but my current boyfriend of two years (the breed me, daddy, one from above) provides me a lot of emotional connection and physical connection and I feel safe and stable. I can see myself marrying this person, but he’s already had a divorce and has sworn off marriage, and is aromantic anyway. I think I have a marriage kink because I was home alone and masturbated to him asking me to marry him. I really only want these things in the fantasy world, and I want to explore the idea more but don’t want to scare him off. It’s like … I want our D&D characters to fuck and start a family. But then I want to be able to teleport back to the real world and back to my real job and my real relationships (both with him and my other partner of 12 years). Again, I don’t want these things in the real world, just a fantasy world. I’ve never met anyone with similar kinks and there isnt exactly women centric porn based on these topics. I talk to my therapist about this but I get shy and not completely honest, so I’m turning to the kind people of Reddit to see if anyone has a kink they’re ashamed of, or similar experiences, or can point me in the right direction of what my kinks might be related to. Edit: Thanks for the thoughtful responses so far. Yes, I’m polyamorous and this might be a monogamy kink, as someone kindly pointed out (which is antithetical to poly, I’m fully aware, that’s why this is a “confessions” post). I think living a lifestyle and wanting to escape it every once in a while to a fantasy world are two different things. I don’t actually want children and don’t actually want to get married, but the idea is hot.