I want to die because of rectal itching.

I've been experiencing anal itching for virtually 5 years straight. Nothing I try improves it. My sleep is severely compromised. I have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. I basically spend all waking hours in discomfort and fighting the urge to scratch. I recently had surgery (unrelated to the itching) and have had to sleep on my back all propped up on one position for two weeks with probably two weeks more. The sleep depravation is ruining my life. I have about 12 Percocet left over and thought about taking them all last night. I've been to hemorrhoid specialists (costing 1000+ dollars)- didn't help. Every doctor appointment I bring up the itching (sometimes I do have hemorrhoids but not all the time) and they just say "drink more water, don't use toilet paper." I hydrate like it's my job and have a bidet. I use lidocaine cream and it does nothing but numbs the whole area- plus itching!. I just want to die. I cannot spend the rest of my life like this. I can't talk to anyone irl, it's so embarrassing. I'd take pain over itching any day, this is consuming my life. Thanks to all the people who responded. I feel like pinworms are very unlikely. I got a colonoscopy about two years ago. They would have found them then I think? I have all shoved a fortune in suppositories in my ass. I use the witch hazel wipes as well, which is soothing while I using hem but the itch comes back immediately.