My mom has secretly been ruining all my relationships and I only figured it out recently.

I’m 26F and I still live close to home bc my parents are older and I help them out alot. Me and my mom have always been super close, honestly maybe too close. Like she was basically my bestfriend growing up. She always used to say stuff like “men leave eventually, family stays” and I never thought much of it before. Now it sounds kinda weird when I think about it. I’ve had 3 serious relationships and all of them ended almost the same way. The guy would slowly start acting distant, get annoyed over little things, say I was too emotionally attached or stressful to deal with, then break up with me. And honestly I blamed myself for a long time bc I know I can get attached kinda hard. My mom was always the one comforting me after every breakup too, saying I deserved better and stuff. My last boyfriend Aaron was different tho. We dated almost 2 years and were talking about moving in together. My mom acted supportive but she’d say little things sometimes like “don’t move too far away” or “men change once they get comfortable”. Small comments but enough to stick in your head. Then Aaron started acting weird too. He’d randomly ask if I was upset with him when I wasn’t, or he’d say stuff like “why do you tell your family all this negative stuff about me?” I genuinely had no idea what he was talking about. Turns out my mom had been texting and calling him sometimes “just checking in”. At first he thought it was sweet bc my family is really friendly in general. But then she slowly started telling him things like I wasn’t fully happy, that I thought he was immature sometimes, that I complained he lacked ambition, that I felt trapped in the relationship.None of it was true btw. The creepiest part is she kept telling him not to mention their conversations to me bc she “didn’t wanna start drama”. When he finally showed me the texts I actually felt sick reading them bc the way she wrote everything sounded SO believable. Like if I was him I probably would’ve believed her too. I confronted her and she immediately started crying. Like full breakdown crying. She kept saying she was just trying to protect me bc “men always leave eventually”. Then she said “I just don’t wanna end up alone.” And idk why but that part messed me up the most. After that I reached out to one of my exes and after an awkward conversation he admitted she used to message him too. Same exact thing, little comments here and there, slowly putting ideas in his head over time. Nothing dramatic enough where someone would instantly realize what was happening. Just enough to slowly ruin the relationship. I still talk to my mom and everything but now I feel weird all the time around her. And the worst part is she actually IS a good mom in alot of ways. She sacrificed alot for me growing up, supported me through everything, always cared about me. But now everytime I think about crying to her after my breakups I keep wondering if she secretly helped cause them in the first place.