Took out the trash in my 'I ❤️ BOOBS' shirt… and immediately gifted my hot neighbor the loudest stairwell symphony of my life

This morning I was taking out the trash in my sweatpants and an old stretched-out t-shirt that says "I ❤️ BOOBS" (it was a gag gift from friends, I swear I don't wear it outside normally... usually). I open the building door and boom - my hot neighbor from the 5th floor is standing right there waiting for the elevator. First eye contact in like 6 months. She smiles politely. I panic-smile back way too wide. Then I realize my shoelace is untied. I bend down super fast to tie it... and rip the loudest, longest fart of my entire life. Like, cartoon-level, echoing in the stairwell "BRRRRRRRRRRRRRAPPPPP". Dead silence. I slowly stand up, face burning, pretending it didn't happen. She's staring at the floor, lips pressed together so hard they're white, clearly trying not to laugh/cry/die. Elevator dings. We both step in. 10 seconds of pure awkward silence while going up. At her floor she gets out, turns around and very quietly says: "Nice shirt, by the way." Then the doors close. I rode the rest of the way to my floor with my forehead against the wall. Now I'm seriously considering moving to another country. Or at least never taking out the trash before 3 a.m. again. No biggie, I can just never leave my apartment ever again.