I (48F) go on video chat sites and encourage men to masturbate for me. I recently took it further and masturbated on cam with a younger guy (23M) and feel disgusted in myself

I'm a single mom, divorced for nearly 7 years now. I spend most of my time either working or taking care of my two teenage daughters. A few weeks ago, I stumbled across a video chat website where you can talk to strangers. Before I knew it, I was going on during my late night free time just to chat. I never showed my face on cam, just from the neck down. Initially, it was just flirtatious talking and teasing. But that quickly escalated into watching and encouraging men to masturbate and cum for me, alongside dirty talk. As time went on, I got way more comfortable with it. This past Friday night, I matched with a really attractive 23 year old guy and took it a step further than I ever had. I got fully undressed, and we spent the next 40 minutes or so basically having video sex. When I’m on these sites, I get this intense rush and high, but it’s always followed by immediate shame. I haven’t got back on since Friday, but I can already feel the urge pulling me back.