My dad had a sick fetish involving me that I now realize how bad it was.

I don't know how to describe all of this, it's embarassing to tell, but I'll describe that details I can recall. At a very young age I suffered a spinal cord injury which left me paraplegic, and I've had to use a wheelchair ever since. And my parents helped me to overcome it. So when I was 15, I was seeing other boys my age had their girlfriends, and I didn't, so I was sad about that and about being rejected. My dad would often talk to me about dating advice, and since he I had told him I was unable to date, he decided to hire sex workers for me. At that time I didn't think much about what was going on. My dad just one day took me out on his car to some small apartment he rented and there I lost my virginity with a sex worker who looked to be around her late 20s or early 30s. I liked her and she was very nice with me, though sex felt something weird with my condition and a bit frustrating when I have no sensation down there. My dad just sat there and watched me being intimate with that sex worker. When we left, he told me to keep this a secret, and tell mom that we only went to play games. And my dad kept taking me to meet different sex workers every 2 weeks, and he'd sit there watching me have sex. And now that I realize it, apparently, he had a fetish for seeing me have sex with older women which I find very gross now. But at the time I hadn't realized it. I also didn't know hiring sex workers was illegal here in USA back then, I learned that much later, I just saw sex workers as something normal. So I don't know how my dad met sex workers to hire them. Now I'm 31, my dad has recently passed away and I've never told my mom about this. I don't think I'll ever tell her because it's something very embarassing to share and I don't know how'd she react if she knew my dad hired sex workers for me from a young age. I feel weirded out by this now.