I was "raped" the other day, and I want to see him again

I met this guy online a few days ago on a hookup app. We talked about doing a cnc scene. I sent him a list of "rules"/boundaries and established a safeword before he came over. Once he got here we immediately went to the bedroom. after doing our thing for a while, I had to use the safe word. he respected it and stopped. after taking a short break I said we could continue if he was more gentle. so we started having sex again, and at some point I had to use the safeword again. this time he didn't stop. he just switched from one hole to the other, which broke another boundary I had put in place earlier. after that I just kind of laid there and took it. I didn't protest, or say the safeword again. I don't remember what was going through my head at that moment, I guess i just froze? I don't really remember much of this encounter in all honesty, I got super crossfaded for this hookup so everything is jumbled and fuzzy. Everyone is saying that I was assaulted/raped, but it doesn't truly feel that way. I know logically what he did was wrong, but it's really not affecting me emotionally. honestly, all in all, I actually had a good time and I really want to see him again.