I have been a Putin supporter since 2022. My eyes opened six months ago when I visited Germany.

The post title is self-explanatory. When the invasion began, I protested against it at first. I went outside, got beaten by the police and decided it was not worth it. So I kind of shut up and went on with my life. Over the next few months, I began to feel different about the situation. I started reading Z channels and watch pro-Putin bloggers, moved away from Western media because as much as I disliked our government, they painted Russians as a nation consisting entirely of alcoholic orks (especially subreddits like r/europe). I dunno how to describe it, it was just very unpleasant to read as a Russian. So anyways, I distanced myself from it even further when RKN (the internet surveillance agency) began blocking “undesirable” websites. More months passed, they turned into years, and I have been pro-Z for several years. That is, until I visited my sister in Bavaria who married a German guy. When I got there… Jesus Christ — it was like a curtain over my eyes just disappeared. You can guess how Russian media paints Europe, how all Ukrainians are bloodthirsty maniacs and how “wonderful” it is to live in such a great country as Russia. What I saw in Bavaria was the complete opposite of that. I saw the quality of life, the German way of living, the clean streets, delicious food… and I just fell in love with Bavaria. I had a great time, spoke to great people, even made friends with a Ukrainian guy at the Munich train station. I returned home with a cognitive dissonance. It was really tough to realize that you’ve been spoonfed bullshit without you even realizing that. I have been studying German ever since I came back, and I guess what I want to say is that I’m deeply, deeply sorry. I was scared at how stealthily propaganda worked its way into my head. I want to say sorry to everyone that maybe recognizes my username from political sub comments. To amazing Ukrainian people who are fighting tooth and nail for their freedom and country. I have been a piece of shit, and I sincerely apologize for it. I’m now aiming to move to Germany through a Blaue Karte and I hope I make it.