I’m completely unsatisfied with my sex life

I (33F) have been married to my husband (30M) for a few months, but together for several years. The amount of sex we have has steadily decreased throughout the years, to the point it’s maybe only once per month. I give him blowjobs pretty frequently (2-3 times per week) without so much as any touching (besides maybe on my boobs) in return. I feel so unattractive because of this and I think that fuels my cuckquean kink. The other night my husband promised to have sex with me and just fingered me while I blew him. I continue to give him oral sex because a healthy sex life is important to me in our marriage, but it feels like its not as much of a priority to him or he just finds me too unattractive to make the effort. I fantasize about him fucking me the way he did when we first started dating… about it lasting as long as it used to…. about feeling as attractive as I did then… all of that and more all the time. I wish I could feel what it’s like to have my pussy filled up again and fucked for hours. I’m afraid now that we’re married I’m never going to experience that again.