I pretend to use substances so my wife will have sex with me

My wife never wants sex. I tried all the standard requests such as more chores, mental loads, date nights, communication, non-sexual touch, etc. But they don’t work. My wife always wants sex when she drinks or does drugs though. She also gets serious FOMO when others use substances around her. So what I do is go in the kitchen, get the cheap silver tequila bottle out, pour some down the drain (if I’m not feeling it that night), and then put ice water in my glass. Then I act like I’m having a fun tipsy time until she eventually wants to do the same. I never ask or pressure her or anything, she always ends up choosing to partake completely on her own. Then she gets tipsy, she jumps on me (she doesn’t like me initiating) and we have awesome sex. Same deal with the….yayo I’ll call it here. I go in the other room, get the plate out, take a loud snort of nothing (usually). 5-10 minutes later I will hear her go in and do the same thing but for real. Then we’ll hang and flirt, say sweet/dirty stuff, she tells me I’m hot, basically all the things we’re missing if shes not intoxicated. And then the sex is out of this world. Sometimes I feel bad for lying, but at the end of the day it’s not like I’m forcing her or anything. Many times I’m not even in the same room as her, she just hears a snort and gets the FOMO. If I didn’t do my charades, we’d have a sexless marriage and nobody wants that. I’d love if she could figure out how to have passionate sex, or even a libido at all when off of substances. I use many substances myself but I don’t want to be on them every single time I have sex ya know.