I got left at the altar

However horrific you think that would be like make it about fifty times worse and then you’re feeling how I felt. This happened back in May but I’ve always read threads on here so I wanted to post my own. My (ex) fiancé and I met when we were 20 and our relationship was a little bit like a whirlwind. It was one of those things where it always felt like fireworks and birds tweeting when we were together. He was so…perfect. Handsome, intelligent, charismatic…popular (we met at University he was very well known and liked) I really fell hard and fast and I would like to say he did as well, I’m not that delusional. He proposed to me on graduation day a year after we’d been together and we were engaged for six months before we were meant to get married. I will say his parents pushed for the proposal a lot. He came from a rich family who were very traditional. His mother was married to his father at nineteen and pregnant by twenty and so forth. They wanted us married young especially because they all did really like me. I know it was their idea, not his and I imagine he felt he couldn’t say no when he was given a family heirloom for me to use as my ring and I found out later he would only be allowed to access all of his trust after he was married. But I don’t think he’d have done it if he truly didn’t want to, he always seemed too sure of himself and too confident. He was always a selfish person it was just a flaw I chose to accept or overlook as someone does when they love you. We were meant to get married in a church my parents were married in. We’re not religious but we were both baptised so and I liked the fairytale of it all. It really was such a beautiful ceremony and my dress was truly beautiful. It was like perfect, happily ever after perfect and I had no idea what he was going through. I’ve tried so hard to pick a moment I felt his heart wasn’t in it but I can’t. Until I was there. I was being walked down the aisle with my dad and every girl dreams of her husband to be crying or maybe smiling at her but he was just very stone faced, schooled features. I was irritated by that because it wasn’t the look I wanted and slightly concerned he didn’t seem as happy as I was. It wasn’t quite as dramatic as the priest going to say “Do you take…” and he bolted but it was close. He was just in the middle of speaking, if I am honest I cannot remember what the priest was saying exactly partly because at the ceremony I was thinking of why he wasn’t looking at me at all and also cause I think it’s not important for me to remember. My fiancé just starts shaking his head which made the priest pause and he just looks at me and goes “I can’t do this, I’m sorry” turns and bolts. And I mean really just legged it down the aisle, fast because his dad stood up very quickly to go to grab him but couldn’t. I was completely still kind of in shock just standing there and then I heard the engine go off (we were going to drive away in a car) and then I was just debating if I should pretend to faint. Kinda funny I wasn’t heartbroken yet or anything just really embarrassed and then my best friend was coming towards me and his parents were running outside and everyone was whispering and my mother was crying and it was genuinely actual hell on earth the worst thing ever. So humiliating and I just went from feeling so beautiful to fucking ridiculous. I just grabbed the bottom of my dress up and ran down the aisle outside but he was gone and so was the car. I started crying, hysterically and then I just started walking down the street, I told everyone who came near me to fuck off snd I just walked down the street the whole half an hour until I got home. Lots of people stared I must have looked very dramatic but I think I just dissociated and I sat on the steps to our house for a while to see if he’d come home (he did not) until my parents came and let me in and I told them to leave me alone in there. That’s the parts I want to go into detail about. Because if anyone reads this I imagine they will ask - his parents were absolutely furious, gave me a decent amount of money to say sorry (to cover the cost of the wedding and then some) we broke up, we spoke briefly when he came to get his things (he said I could have the house ((I am in the process of selling it)) he didn’t say much, just that he was sorry and he couldn’t do it and it wasn’t fair to trap me. He did not say why or what changed. He did not want a relationship at all - I didn’t either after this) . We have not spoken in three weeks. I didn’t eat for ages and got like extra skinny so that’s fun, I went on the honeymoon on my own and cried the whole time and hooked up with some random Italian man and cried after. I am okay now, I have trust issues. I hope he dies. I’m glad I have come out of this quite rich (after I sell the house because I do not need or want a three bedroom)