i stopped reminding my boyfriend about anything just to see how long it would take for his life to fall apart

i’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and for basically the entire relationship i’ve been the person remembering EVERYTHING for both of us. birthdays appointments rent his car service stuff for work his moms medication literally all of it. he always says hes “just bad with dates” and im naturally more organised so somehow it slowly became my job i guess a few months ago we had an argument because i forgot to remind him about his brothers birthday dinner. mind you this dinner was mentioned in the family gc like 50 times. he still got annoyed at ME because apparently i “knew he would forget” and couldve just reminded him before he made other plans LIKE WHAT?? idk something about that pissed me off so badly. not even the birthday thing itself but the way he said it like remembering his own life was some service i suddenly stopped providing so i decided fine. im not reminding him about anything anymore i didnt announce it because UGHHH i already knew he would say im being dramatic. i just quietly stopped. no “dont forget your dentist tomorrow” no reminding him about insurance payments no telling him we were nearly out of cat food no checking his work schedule for him. if he asked me something directly i answered but i stopped volunteering information like im some personal calendar with tits the first month was honestly a DISASTER he missed his dentist appointment and had to pay a cancellation fee. forgot to buy his co-worker a birthday gift until the literal morning of and then blamed shipping times?? ran out of clean work shirts twice because apparently the laundry basket usually empties itself through divine intervention. he got a late fee on one of his bills and spent like an hour ranting about how companies “make due dates confusing on purpose”, and this is the part that makes me feel horrible but i enjoyed it not like evil villain laughing while he suffers but every single time something went wrong i felt this tiny bit of satisfaction because FINALLY it proved i wasnt imagining how much stuff i do for him. he kept saying he was having the most stressful month ever and i was sat there thinking no babe youre just experiencing your own responsibilities without me putting pillows under every consequence then last week he missed an important work meeting because the time changed. he showed me the email and said “you saw this too why didnt you tell me” i said because its not my meeting, he just stared at me and later said he feels like i dont care about him anymore because “partners are supposed to help each other” and YES obviously they are but helping someone and basically managing their entire existence are not the same thing?? how did we reach a point where me not monitoring a grown mans emails is emotional neglect i still havent told him this was intentional from the start. he thinks ive just been distracted lately now i feel guilty because technically yeah i couldve prevented most of this. it wouldve taken me like 10 seconds to remind him. but i also feel like if i start again then NOTHING changes and im gonna be 70 years old reminding this man where his glasses are while theyre literally on his face i love him i really do but i dont want to be his mom. at the same time secretly watching someone fail just to prove a point is kinda insane behaviour so idk maybe im the problem too but how hard is it to remember your own dentist appointment genuinely??