i killed my friend

When I (F21) was 5years old, I accidentaly killed my friend as we were playing. We were jumping on a trampoline together. She was jumping very high, and when she landed, I playfully pushed her. I didn’t think it was dangerous at all. She lost her balance and fell badly, landing on her neck. I got scared and started crying, and I ran to tell her parents what had happened. At that time, I didn’t understand how serious the accident was. I thought she would recover. However, a few days later I found out that she didn’t survive. I was very young then and didn’t fully understand the consequences of my actions. Nowadays I feel deep guilt about what happened. Sometimes when I go to sleep, I still see the accident in my mind. I am glad that therapy exists and that I can get help dealing with these feelings.