I flew to Thailand and hooked up with a ladyboy and I don’t know what that says about me

I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I told everyone I went to Thailand to “find myself” but that’s not really it. I went because I was curious about things I was too scared to admit out loud. One night I got drunk, ended up talking to a ladyboy, and something just clicked. Like I knew exactly where it was going and I didn’t stop it. I went back with her. Yeah. I had sex with a ladyboy. It wasn’t even just drunk stupidity. I was fully aware, and part of me *wanted* it. That’s the part that’s messing with me now. I keep replaying it in my head. It didn’t feel wrong in the moment. It felt… exciting? freeing? I don’t even know. Now I’m home acting like nothing happened, but it definitely did. And I don’t know what it means about me or what I’m supposed to do with it. Just needed to get that off my chest.