I am a woman but DESPERATE to know what it feels like to have a dick

I (F21) have always wondered and desired to know what it feels like to have a dick and especially jerk off. I am so jealous of men because of it. I have watched porn many years and it’s usually videos of men jerking off. I am so sad and angry that I will never know what it feels like. I wouldn’t wanna have dick 24/7 or in daily life, but man I would love to have one sometimes in sexual situations. I love being a woman and hot and feminine. I love to have something inside me and being penetrated. But I would just LOVE to know how it feels like to jerk off a dick.