I was raped and now i’m pregnant i don’t know what to do.

so i’m a 21 f and i was SA’D at what was supposed night out with my friends. i found out i was pregnant and i haven’t told anyone but my mom. my mom is very pro life and says the baby is a gift and that i can’t get rid of it. but i don’t want this kid at all. i don’t wanna have a child who’s eyes will look the same of they guy who violated me so deeply. i’m stuck because my mom will be so angry that i got rid of it but my stomach twists at the thought of keeping this baby. it’s selfish but i have this kid i don’t think i could ever love it. ever. i haven’t even told my boyfriend but i think he’s catching on. i don’t know what to do. i want to get an abortion be free but another part of me fears i won’t ever get pregnant again. i’m so stuck and it’s taking a toll on my mental health i just needed more opinions even if it’s from strangers on the internet. EDIT: just wanted to thank everyone for commenting people like you remind me that good people are out there you guys made me cry ❤️❤️❤️ and i have told my boyfriend now he supports me either way if keep it or not he’ll raise the kid like his own.