My sister got me raped while drunk and now I secretly resent her

My older sister has been the person I have loved the absolute most my entire life and I want to say she still is. Yet her actions have led to something unforgivable and that is leaving me in such an unhealthy state. We went on a family vacation trip to hawaii a couple months ago and she really wanted to go out clubbing the last night we spent there. Keep in mind the ENTIRE time we were getting ready and before we left she was constantly saying about how we are going home by the end of the night. We went with a group of guys from the military we had met the night before from a different club. The night was going alright at first, I was constantly uncomfortable around the guys though as all of them were trying to make advances on me as well as hook me up with their friends, it was weird and everyone was over 20 while I had just turned 18 this year in march. The main reason we went out with that group is because it was one guy’s birthday, and my sister was already flirting with him the night before so I at least thought that they were going to be the focused on each other, I was so completely wrong. After heading to the club and pregaming on the way, my sister had already become super drunk by this time and was flirting with this one white boy whom she ended up staying with the entire rest of the night. It was my fault to even trust the situation and trust her to keep us safe. I was actually having a good time at the club until it closed, and was pretty drunk by the end of it, yet still knew I needed to head home with my sister by the end of the night. When I had gotten back to the car after the club closed, I was the only one there besides my sister and the white guy, and she was obviously drunk still. Im trying to tell her that its time we should probably go home as it was already past 2am and we were somewhere we didnt know. She got into an argument with me because I refused to leave without her and just leave her drunk with a group of random men for the rest of the night. She then started to complain to the white guy about the burden Ive been on her her whole life after our mom passed, which despite knowing she was drunk really hurt my feelings hearing her say something so hateful. To keep it shorter, I stayed by her side until the rest of the group came, and she wanted to leave to base with them. My sister left with the white guy to his room, leaving me having to choose which stranger’s room I was going to sleep in with. The birthday boy offered me his room and promised he’d sleep on the floor and be respectful which I should have never have trusted. I cried throughout the whole thing and was left bleeding and bruised. The guilt of the whole situation has been eating away at me and its caused me to relapse badly. I have a boyfriend who Ive been dating for a year and a half and it feels like I’ve cheated on him because of this. My sister noticed the bruises the next day and so I played it off as if I did cheat on him, she has no idea who I spent the night with or what happened. I feel so terrible and havent told anyone about what truly happened that night and Im unsure how to. This occurrence has grown this resentment towards my sister yet I don’t want to tell anyone in my family about this and make her look bad either. Its made my relationship with my boyfriend more difficult as Ive already faced trauma from sexual abuse before and I’m terrified to tell him about this because Im unsure of what his reaction will be, and I will be too devastated if it causes a fallout between us. Im unsure who in my family to talk to about this first, I never want to tell my sister about it and put that type of guilt on her either. Which is why Im telling strangers on the internet, if anyone has any advice though Id really appreciate it. Edit: I was not expecting this post to blow up so quickly; I had just irrationally dumped all of this online as a cry for help. Though I really appreciate all the support and am grateful for the encouragement Ive received to speak up about this. I suppose I should add a bit more context in terms of telling my boyfriend; he already knows about the whole situation, even me sleeping at the base in some guys room, I had just explicitly left out the fact that I was assaulted that night. I plan on telling him about it today once I get off of work. The situation with my sister has gotten a bit more rough which I can admit is my fault for acting rash. I was late to work this morning because of her and snapped at her telling her that work wasn’t the only reason I was upset with her and told her the truth bluntly, I didn’t have time to thoroughly talk to her about it, and she was denying the fact I was left alone that night, but I trust we can work it out later and with time. I do not carry any genuine hatred towards my sister, I am just upset she couldn’t recognize this issue on her own and at least apologize. I also see a lot of people saying I should report this to military officials, and I would like to say that if I did genuinely believe that action would be taken, I would. That is not what I believe and have seen through other people’s experiences in the military. Thank you all for listening and giving advice though, it means a lot!