CPS took my daughter and I'm too ashamed to tell anyone

My daughter was removed from my care by the equivalent of my country's CPS when I was leaving an abusive relationship. There was real reasoning, I admit to that, I disclosed information about her father (the ex I was in the process of leaving) as I was concerned about the behaviour. This report led to our daughter being "voluntarily" placed with another family due to her father's potential abuse and the fact that I am disabled (autism, POTS, cyclical vomiting syndrome, PTSD) and had no family support. It's been 6 months. She's turning 2 soon. I feel sick with shame everyday and I don't know when or how this is going to end. I see her twice a week, but she no longer is upset when she has to leave, she is excited to go home. She is also excited to visit but it hurts so badly. I miss my baby. She took her first steps with someone else. I've spent the last 6 months doing everything I can to get her back and I have recently found out that they do not have any plans to place her in my care until she is school attending age. I don't know what to point of this post is. I just feel so ashamed and guilty and horrible. I try not to tell anyone who isn't directly involved, when the landlord asks where she is I say preschool. I can't tell anyone because I can't take anymore judgement, and I don't blame anyone for the judgement. And selfishly, I don't know if I'll be able to recover from this period of my life