I accidentally became my coworker’s baby’s godparent because I zoned out and nodded. It’s been two years.

Back in 2024 I was standing in the office breakroom waiting for the microwave. My cubicle neighbor, who I only ever made surface-level small talk with, was eight months pregnant and venting about family drama. I was running on four hours of sleep and literally daydreaming about my leftovers. She paused, looked at me with tears in her eyes, and said something intense. On pure autopilot, I gave a sympathetic smile and said, "Yeah, absolutely, cool!" She gasped, threw her arms around my neck, and started sobbing. Here is teh horrifying reality. She had just asked me to be her unborn daughter’s godparent because her own sister refused. By the time my sleep-deprived brain processed what she had actually said, she had already texted her husband and announced it in the company Slack channel. I was too cowardly to say "wait, sorry, I thought you asked if I wanted the rest of your donuts." fast-forward two years, and I am in way too deep. I attended a two-hour Catholic christening in a suit, I send savings bonds on her birthday, and this woman regularly texts me photos of the toddler calling me her "spiritual guide."