I am not Gay. Why was I forcing it?

I(M 29) am straight guy who dipped into trans porn (love it). From there i dipped into gay porn (loved it). I thought maybe i was bisexual. Then i started watching all kinds of porn(nothing gross or gory). I liked it. Jacked off to it. Then i downloaded Grindr. My first hookup was bad. The guy wanted to bite my nips. Ended up losing my boner. He bit them so hard i had to bolt. Seven months later i got with a guy again. He was everything i wanted. Wanted to go fun stuff. No nipples biting this time. When i got there he got on his knees and started to suck me. Then after 10 seconds he said he couldnt because he had some bruising inside of his mouth. I understood. We moved to the bed. He wanted to jerk me off. But did nothing and just laid there, wanted me to jerk him. I did. I stayed with him until he finished. We got dressed. I got to my home, i took a shower. Then i reflected. This freaking sucked! I didnt demand anything major. I didnt ask him to do anything he didnt propose first. I didnt force him. But it was all giving and no receiving on my part. Like, no intimate touch either. I deleted Grindr. I got off the porn. I pushed this experience down. Now i am thinking i was never gay. I just wanted intimacy of some kind. I think bad hookups will make a “teetering” guy like me to pick a side and i have chosen to stay on the “STRAIGHT” side. I dont feel any urge to watch gay porn. I dont feel any urge to get into conversation with men leading towards sex. I dont think i want to hookup either (men or women), not for the time anyways. Anyways, if you read through it all. Let me know what do you think.