I am also a Jane Doe

Hi. This is a throw away account. I’m not sure if this will reach any ground, but I need to talk about this, possibly my darkest secret. Upon the publicity of the “Cornell 7” case, repressed memories came up….memories of when I was in college in 2017. I was doing cocaine consistently with a group of boys from my small college. One night at their college house, I was offered as much cocaine as I wanted, then alcohol by the bottle, then Xanax and weed, all in the late hours of the night. I wasn’t in my right mind to accept anything after that first line of cocaine let alone consent to anything else. I too was raped by multiple college boys who had a group chat about me in their home. While I found out about the messages later on, I woke up in the early morning hours the next day, naked in their house & with no one else home. I pulled myself together and walked home. before I left, I rummaged around to find my jeans and a shirt, and I walked across campus back to my apartment. I crossed my roommate who was outside the student center as I was headed to our apartment. I couldn’t fathom any words at the time to tell her what happened except that I went to far, shit really went down that messed me up, and how I felt sick. For 9 years almost, my brain repressed everything until I heard about this case. The flashbacks of how scared I was to tell someone, that no one would believe me, that “those guys will hate me” if I said something haunted me so bad that I went celibate for 4 years. Upon hearing about Jane Doe at Cornell, I was reminded how I was in those shoes once, too. That I was too scared to do anything. That 9 years later I am still haunted about it and regretful that I did nothing. I can’t help but think now how many more Jane Doe’s are out there. If I have anything to say it that… Jane Doe from Cornell, I am so proud of you. I believe you. I hope those boys rot in hell and can never live their lives as they once had…..I am SO proud of you. You are courageous. You stood up for yourself and so many others like you. Thank you, Jane Doe. My confession is that I was scared and to this day, 9 years later, I still am. Thank you for reading. Sincerely, “A. Jane Doe” Edit for typos