I had my first DP last weekend and I’m still processing it

I had my first experience with double penetration last weekend. It wasn’t spontaneous we planned it in advance. I’ve known both guys for a while (one I’ve been casually seeing, the other was my old partner). We talked about it for a couple of weeks, set clear boundaries, and agreed on protection the whole time.I could stop anytime, and no filming my face. It was intense. I felt things I’ve never felt before the fullness, the pressure, the overwhelming sensation of being with two people at once. They both were not able to move properly but I came harder than I ever have. But afterward, I felt a strange mix of emotions. Physically I was really sore the next day every time I moved I remembered what happened. Emotionally… I feel a bit lost. Part of me is proud I was brave enough to try something new. But I also feel a little dirty when I think about it too much I’ve only ever had normal, vanilla in my past. This was completely different. I don’t think I’ll do it again anytime soon, but I know the memory will stay with me for a long time. No one in my real life will ever knows about this. I just needed to confess it somewhere.