I was sexually assualted in school by a girl of my own age

When I was around 11–12 years old, I was sexually assaulted by a girl my age. We were in Grade 1, and she was someone I thought was my best friend but in reality, I was just a convenient backup to her. I was a quiet, shy kid who didn’t know how to stand up for myself, and a lot of people took advantage of that throughout school. This girl manipulated me emotionally. She made me believe she had “powerful connections” and could hurt my family if I didn’t obey her. I was too young and innocent to understand that these threats were empty. Because of that fear, I stayed silent. In class, she would touch me without my consent and force me to do things to her too. So in the middle of class she would just move her hand over my legs under my skirt all the up and would grasp me harshly there removing my underwear and would force me do so same to her and me not being able to understand what this means would obey and do the same. Now when I think about it I feel so disgusted with myself that I wanna chop off my hands. Later, she even spread rumors that I had assaulted her, and because I had a “good girl” reputation, no one believed me when I tried to defend myself. She also physically hurt me and sometimes harmed herself. Looking back, she clearly needed psychological help, but as a child I had no idea how to make sense of any of it. The reason I never told anyone was simple: I genuinely believed she could destroy my family. I didn’t know I had rights, or that I could say no. I was just a kid. Why am I sharing this now? Because recently I saw her name through a mutual friend’s story and it brought everything back. Even today, I’ve never told a single person in my real life. This is the biggest secret I’ve carried. I’ve grown a lot since then. I’m no longer that shy, scared child. I don’t let anyone walk over me now. But that experience stayed buried in me for years, and I just needed to finally say it somewhere. I hope god is watching out there and will punish people for there karma and action. To anyone who is assaulted in life believe I have been there and felt it to my soul that sometimes I wanna end it all but behind that door a whole new life is waiting for you. So this was my biggest secret that no one knows not even my closest friends and family.