My ex-girlfriend sexually destroyed my brain, and it's effecting my current relationship with my soon to be wife.

I (30M) currently struggling with the thought of ever having that sexual relationship again with someone else and it's completely bothering my soul. I dated my ex for about 6 years, actually she was the one to take my virginity. We met when I was 17, she was 18 and a lot more experienced than I was. The most I did was get a BJ, kiss, and play around. Whereas she was very experienced and very open sexually. Over the time while we dated I she introduced me to every kink imaginable; public play, BDSM, Anal, CNC, you name it we did it. I started to realize I loved that she was so open to trying anything. The day I realized I had a good thing going was when we both masturbated to each other while dirty talking in bed. We did not touch each other but both of us climaxed, cuddled, kissed, and slept. It was the most insane bonding experience I ever had. For 6 years I never complained about sex ever which my friends thought was strange. We had sex 4-5 times a week, sometimes more. It was amazing besides the toxicity at the end. My ex said something that stuck with me till this day, she said "sometimes I have sex because you want it, sometimes I could tell you don't wanna do it but you do it for me, and the best sex is when we both want it which happens more times than not". I felt that in my soul. Fast forward to my Fiancé now, shes a great woman has all the traits I love besides that sexual openness. I've talked to her about it many times she's just not that person. Now I feel like my ex has pushed my brain so far I cannot marry this girl. I'm fucked it sucks so badly. I miss the sexual chemistry my ex and I had. It makes me feel like I'm going to cheat on my woman, I don't want that. I want to be a loyal man till I die. Sometimes I cry about this shit.